The Front

(The following poem is quoted from the Spelling Progress Journal, June 1961.)

TAWL TALES FROM OALD TRENCHES.
by Helen Bowyer

But I one-der, my dear Kernal,
That you dont publish the jolonel
That you wrote in the infirnal
Days of World War One,
With shot and shell alighting
On the page that you were rye-ting
And a rat or two abighting
At your pen.

You myt make a lot of dough
From yure royalties and sew
Could peh up awl yue oh
Around thease parts
And ewer credit, now at zero
Would zoom from heer to Clear Row
And ewe’d bee again the herough
Of aul hearts.

Soe at it, migh dere Cournel
Get busy on that gernal
That yew roat in the infolonel
Days of Were-ld Wore Won,
With schott and shell a-lye-ting
On the peige that yooh were weighting
And a rat or tew a-buy-ting
At yoor pen.

The only other decent thing to be found in this publication is the following review:

A Motion Picture Review

The Alphabet Conspiracy, a one hour 16 mm motion picture in Technicolor, produced by Jack L. Warner, has been sponsored by the Bell Telephone Co. This excellent film, equal in quality to 35 mm theater productions, is both amusingly entertaining and educational. It features Alice in Wonderland, whose two companions, the Mad Hatter and Jabberwocky, try to destroy words and abolish them as being unnecessary. It is refreshing to see such a film that is devoid of advertising. Recommended for College Freshmen and High School classes.

Actually, this video is sort of interesting at times. The Mad Hatter is portrayed a sort of paranoid anti-linguistic anarchist, whose voice could make for some good samples (take heed, musicians). There is also interesting footage of the birdmen of the Canary Islands, who communicate over long distances with complicated whistling, and the talking typewriter, a common predecessor of skype and that annoying setting in windows that reads aloud everything on your screen.

Also of note from this issue of the bulletin is a letter from The Rotary Club of Brisbane pleading for English to be adopted as the official World Language, an extremely boring article about the ‘schwa’, several extremely boring articles about reading, and an extremely boring and outdated survey having something to do with reading, writing, and children.